Respect demanded VS. Respect Commanded

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As  Human being, we want to feel safe in relationships. feel physically safe in our world.  Therefore, we have developed a belief that if we are respected, we will be safe. But there is a difference in our approach when we strive for safety and we strive for respect. There is also a difference between demanding respect and commanding respect - and there are also alternatives to "respect" for feeling safe. 

To demand respect is to tell others, "you will respect me" or otherwise threaten or punish those who do not act according to your wishes. To command respect is to have others observe and admire your actions of their own volition. The underlying desire of having respect feeling safe and in control. 

Here are four habits which helps in commanding more respect -

1.  Be worthy of respect - This first point is obvious. This means that - Don't miss deadlines, Show up on time, Follow through on promises. Make sure all your work is high quality. Present yourself in a way that's professional and polished - including in your own social media accounts.  These seem simple elements which if don't fall in place one will have a hard time coaxing a high opinion out of anyone. 

2. Stop downplaying your success- Accepting praise can be a little uncomfortable. However, how can you expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself. Receiving compliments with grace and poise seems like a minor detail, but it's sure to give professional reputation a boost.

3. Cut out the qualifiers- We all have the tendency to preface our ideas and contributions with some sort of qualifying statement. It is protect our egos, in case the idea ends up being lackluster. However, people who command respect stay far away from these types of phrases. Instead, they put their ideas out there and then handle any feedback from there. Avoiding those lead -ins can be a tough habit to break. But it's a sure- fire way to speak with more confidence and have your ideas taken seriously.\\

4. Body language- One can craft the most self-assured elevator pitch in the history of networking. Often, non verbal cues say even more than the words that are actually coming out of mouth. One must have heard the sentiment time and again - and for good reason. It is soild advice. So, pull your shoulders back and stand up straight. Make eye contact. Be firm with your handshakes. Ensure your gestures are made away from your body, rather than making nearly unnoticeable movements toward yourself. They are all marks of a confident person someone who deserves respect and admiration. 

Leaders who are admired and respected have earned that admiration and respect. For that reason leaders who demand respect from others will never get it, because respect must be given. 

Here are few pointers on how one can gain a deeper level of respect from your peers and subordinates - Influence, don't manipulate - Walk the talk, Include don't exclude, Participate equally and openly, Back up opinions with facts, 

Money can buy obedience but cannot buy the respect or love. Love them, encourage them, nurture them and talk to them, not at them. 

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides or manners. One can demand courtesy but have to earn respect.       


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